a glass of water .

What is it that makes success so appealing to me? I think its because I have yet to taste it. Emily Dickinson once said that "success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed." But what is success? If I had to explain success to an alien who dropped down on earth, what would I say? Would I show him a video of Gabby Douglas being presented her gold medal? Would I try to describe the feeling of black Americans as a whole when we saw Barack Obama become the president? What is success to me personally? When will I finally know it? I fear that I will only be aware of my success if I lose it. Or that my idea of success is too unrealistic , because realistically speaking some dreams are destined to remain dreams. If every dream was achievable, success would be expected of everyone. I am having a hard time coping with the fact that possibly, all of this hoping and praying may be out of vain & I'm going to end up relatively "unsuccessful"...... Whatever that means. People tell me that no dream is too big to achieve and all of that positive and hopeful good stuff, the last thing I need right now is hope. In the grand scheme of things, hope is pretty worthless. It's like telling me "don't worry the waitress is coming to fill it up soon," when I asked you if the glass is half empty or half full. The glass is a glass and either way its filled half way with water. I can hope that someone will come around and fill my cup or I can drink the water like I'm meant to. Maybe one day English professors will analyze my writing to try & decipher what I meant by that. Or maybe one day this blog will become lost in the black hole that is the internet. It's the uncertainty that bothers me. The only thing I can really do is keep trying to achieve success so that one day, I may be able to define it.