womanhood (1)

You lubricate your love into my body because you wanted to fit in.
You fed me lie after lie because I was hungry for your acceptance.
You quenched the thirsts of the girls who wanted you, directly in the throat with babies that should have been mine,
and I’m
still here.
I ask myself questions as to why I remained
Especially since you left my bed sheets stained
With blood and tears and suffocated screams
And stuffed my pillows with my childhood dreams
And now I am left alone in the dark
Trying to put together the pieces of my heart
That broke when you pounded away
At my insides
Disregarding my pleas as “intense sighs”
Trying to cover up scars left on my left thigh
Yet I,
still remained.
Cuz even though you stripped me of all that I had
My dignity my pride my innocence I was glad
That you filled up my empty spaces
With meaningless words
Promises, secrets, to me it seemed they were
Real
And that I can deal with for now.