Luna

When the thoughts no longer have space to bounce around, freewrite.

Reflecting upon the depth of day and night, I stared at myself in the rippling dark waters before me. The night was still and warm; toes submerged in water, my thought process was moreso like a stream than the quiet lake surrounding me. 

What was creating the ripples, I wondered? It couldn't be my toes, splashing lightly on the lake's surface. The ripples were sporadic, I recalled learning about waves in physics back in high school, but truth be told I never paid attention. Isn't it funny how life works? You're given all the information you need to know from ages 12-18 to only learn and relearn it again when you're older and more capable of understanding.... Who gets to say I told you so? They must be having a field day.... 

No it was not my toes creating ripples in the otherwise still lake. The underwater universe was trying to make itself known to me, life was trying to remind me that it existed. I shivered at the thought of the warm aquatic life piercing through my reflection to get a better look at the moon. 

Its inverted image behind the window of the sea... I wondered what that would look like. I wondered if I were a fish, if I would worship it... Because fish dont believe in God and it would be crazy to think it... But how could I not worship this magnificent being with no meaning known to fishkind beyond the gates of the waters? I would imagine, if I were a fish, I would wait for night fall and try every night to swim to the surface to get closer to my god. Which would then make above ground some sort of a fish purgatory/after life. Where I can end up in a dental office swimming near artificial coral reef or I can end up next to rice and peas for family dinner. Would there be a heaven for a fish? Is there a hell? 

Just as the thought crossed my mind a fish jumped out the water in the center of the moon's reflection. I recalled being at this exact same spot and witnessing the exact same thing somewhere deep in my memory that at heart I knew never happened before. These reoccuring instances of deja vu were becoming too common for me to not think I have some sort of six sense.... I gazed once again at the ripples in the water trying to see what else I could recall from physics. Or perhaps I should have tapped into the psychology archive... Either way, these tidbits of factual information never seemed accessible when they were needed. Or maybe I should just pay more attention in class. Either way at that point, I had graduated years ago and was still not done learning... Which brought me to ask what I ever went to school for in the first place? And what the degree meant if I was still a student. 

I couldnt seem to shake the image etched into my imagination of an inverted moon behind dark waters. For some reason it seemed clearer to me than any real picture of the moon that I had ever seen. Each ray of sun bouncing off its reflective sister and through the sheer glass surface of the water, the moon dancing with the ripples and flirting with me softly... Telling me she is there but I have to reach far to get her. I was glad to be alone... 

People seem to not understand my obsession with such an "inanimate object." People never seemed to understand much at all when it came to me, so I preferred to think about her in peace. I would admit that I speak to her... But that would be crazy wouldn't it? As crazy as a fish jumping out the lake to meet her or as crazy as me dreaming that I've been there before when I'd just discovered that spot. I figured it would be best to keep that to myself for now and to continue to swim in the stream of consciousness that were and are my thoughts. 

My thought stream is far deeper than the lake was (and probably still is) but would not damage my will to swim in her reflection and bask in her warmth and beauty. I feared that I would learn, as the fish would know, that reaching the surface was just the beginning in my quest to reach her. Or perhaps that even reaching was a waste of time. Or something like that...