bridges

Ahead of me faced the distance of the road I have yet to travel. I stared upon it, cautious of whats to come but too overwhelmed with the curiousity and the certainty of its promises to be insecure with my decision to build. A leap of blindness across the vast waters running swiftly, intervening, would be foolish; a look behind me could tell me that. The past jump into the waters left me drowning, unable at first to handle the pressure. Unable to breath, unable to see without the pure water roughly washing my unclean eyeballs, the pressure painfully piercing my lungs, unable to feel anything but fluid motion. 

I was fortunately able to draw up the strength to swim back to the surface. Once there, with exhaustion I let myself be carried by the surrounding moya. No longer at a point of concern, rather control, of my life, It was easier to take it easy and go with the stream. This worked, but only shortly, because it was only long enough before the wind stopped and the water became still and I found myself floating. Floating in neither time nor space but water, looking around for a way to walk once more. Floating in an intangible reality, where everything looked the same but nothing was. With the help of a branch from a nearby tree I hauled myself back on land. Wet, cold, and lost, I was grateful just to have regained control. I let the sunlight dry my skin and continued, as I have been conditioned to continue.

Turning back to the road ahead, and the waters once again interjecting me from my travels, I knew now what to do. I would not try to jump again. Although the distance seemed shorter, I could not tell, and I do not know if I would be able to swim back up if I were to drown again. All I had was what the earth offered and all I could do was build. Not much of a handyman, I expect the bridge to be bumpy, I expect it to have its flaws and I expect it not to last long after I pass it. However as long as it serves its duty to get me to the otherside of the riverbed, I was satisfied.

So with a sigh and another glance behind me to reassure myself of my decision, I began to build. Ready to continue once more.